Kendall has friends with yachts

Andddd we’re back! Fake Preggers is looking a little less orangey today. Nice!

Monday 8/3:
So looks like Funny Doc and Amanda have devised a plan to make Dr. David Baby Stealer think they can’t have kids. And then they’ll adopt. They’ll adopt their own baby! It’s a seamless plan.

And while we’re on the subject, babies are HILARIOUS! You ever notice how funny it is when someone who’s never been around a baby, is around a baby? No? Well just look at Blondie, there, she forgot to burp Barbados Baby! Hahahahahahah . . .ha . . . h . . . okay. Lucky for her, Amanda stops by (she decided to not break in this time) giving Blondie an opportunity to drink her sorrows away at Confusion!

Guess who else is drinking her sorrows away! Nope, not Fake Preggers- she’s in court cuz Kendall’s on trial today. Nope, not Kendall- she’s on trial today. Yup, that’s right- Krystal! Yay! Krystal joins Blondie for some cheese fries, and she does that really creepy thing where she talks about her ex to her ex’s new gf and stuff and how he wears socks to bed and how he’s really great in bed . . . no, wait, don’t think she said that. It was still creepy though. Anyhow, Blondie’s very polite and all, and I’m sure the entire time she was thinking about how she wished she’d just stayed home with that loud, burpy baby, the annoying guy and the lady who likes to break into her house.

Down at ye olde courte house there’s all sort of hubbub and Zach punches Aiden (how DARE you jeopardize his face like that, Slater!) and Kendall has to pee (with handcuffs on! LOL!) and Lavery shows up at the bathroom window and steals Kendall so they can “leave the country.” I love the old “leave the country” plan. Down in the basement (where they’re working on “leaving the country," which should be easy, cuz Kendall's got friends with boats and planes), Funny Doc shows up with Heart Valve and the Other One, and Lavery’s all, “Take your kids and leave the country, Kendall!” Then there’s a montage and Kendall gets sad and doesn’t want to leave for some reason or another, and upstairs Fake Preggers throws a lawyer temper tantrum and smacks Baby Stealer in the head. She totes wasn’t expecting him to be there, seems she forgot that the only thing Dr. David Baby Stealer loves more than stealing babies, is court rooms!

This week: someone gets shot! Hooray!