Mr. Paraphrasing Pine Valley made a really great point today. No one can seem to refer to Heart Valve and The Other One as anything except "The Boys." Can we switch it up? Zach's all "The Boys" and Erica's all "The Boys" . . . can we call them "The Kids" or perhaps, "Kendall's Sons?" Or even "Heart Valve and The Other One?" Eh, ABC? Eh?
Monday 8/10:
So Zach’s not lettin’ anybody near “The Boys.” Not Erica, not nobody! He’s also the most unnatural looking father ever. We’ll see how long this little “I’m the only one allowed to care for my boys” thing goes. The second one of those kids pukes, he’ll be outta there.
Grandad has gone to the hospital to get . . . ahem . . . a little nudge in his private parts. Okay, I’ll just say it- he wants wiener pills. He wants pills so he can do it all night long with CrazAnnie. Barf. But see, Grandad doesn’t get to tell his medical physician, Dr. Joe Not So Smart, about the Johnson meds before Dr. Not Smart goes to take care of someone having a seizure (more important than wieners) and instead gives Grandad’s chart to Dr. David Baby Stealer and well, whatever, he eventually gets the pills for his ding dong. Again, barf.
Back at the Love Shack, CrazAnnie’s bangs look like crap. They thought they could distract us by putting her in a bikini, but it didn’t work, kids. CrazAnnie tells her roomie, Scott, to go to Not Babe (who as you remember was shot through the heart, and Marian is to blame) ‘cuz he lurves her and they should be together, but then Grandad walks in, and whatever, it’s not important, CrazAnnie’s bangs look like crap. As a lady with bangs, I know you must care for them delicately, you must show them the respect they deserve. Something must be done about this, ABC. I will not allow these stringy things to be shown on my lovely CrazAnnie’s countenance.
Dr. David Baby Stealer totes doesn’t want Junior hanging out with Not Babe, which is super convenient, since Scott luuuuurrrrrvvvvveeessss her. Lavery wants his kid back from Zach, but his kid’s sleeping and clearly not available. Emma has an arsenal of cell phones and I don’t think she for reals saw Kendall shoot anybody, and Kendall hallucinates Zach visiting her in the slammer (that looks a lot like an Ikea closet) and then Babe is like “Um, hellooooo, I’m the only person who gets to be hallucinated! I mean, except, Stuart.”
This week: Dr. Mrs. Police Chief gets a wig!!
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