Everybody Loves Zach

Would it kill Lavery to put a tie on just once? I mean, it's court, guy, you really should look your best.

Tuesday 8/25:
Man, Junior's not feeling so good. Luckily, he's at the hospital so Dr. Mrs. Police Chief listens to his alcoholic heart and runs some tests and well . . . more about that later.

Real Preggers is completely distraught that Barbados Baby is like, for reals missing. Nevermind that fact that it's essentially her fault for agreeing to that stupid "put the kid in an alley" plan and naturally she takes her aggression out on Dr. David Baby Stealer! Man, that guy can't catch a break. For once he did not steal your baby! Not yet at least!

Speaking of Dr. Baby Stealer, Not Babe really wants to "come home with him," which is a really weird and slightly inappropriate way of saying she would like to move in because she thinks he's nice and stuff. He's all, "Um, apparently you haven't noticed this evil doctor thing that I've spent years cultivating. Your constantly sunny attitude and insistence to love me kinda messes with the vibe." Actually, that's just what I wish he'd said. Really he was like, "Sure! You can come home with me!" (Such a weird way to put that.)

So Judge Robert Goulet and his millions of pencils are figurin' out whether or not CrazAnnie is in fact SaneAnnie and can stand trial. Well, since Grandad paid off Judge Goulet, she is, in fact, sane. Hooray!

Remember Junior's tests? Quickest medical tests ever and the results are in! Dr. Mrs. Police Chief is worried about Junior's blood cells. He wants to know how worried. And she's like, "I'm 'contract negotiations' worried. Sorry, kid."

Everyone and their mom loves Zach. Kendall . . . Fake Preggers . . . okay, well, just two people, but you know, that's, like, more than just one person. Kendall wants Zach to love her but he's still super t.o.'d about that whole Lavery thing. Fake Preggers is captivated by Zach's facial hair and ability to pick up an entire door by himself! Fake Preggers comes over to his house for the millionth time today and lays a giant kiss on him and Kendall, who refuses stay in her secret room, bonks her over the head with her Trapper Keeper. Yeah!

As much as Kendall's "Love me, love me! Want me! Make me feel good about myself!" thing annoys me, I can't resist a good smack on the noggin!