The Tax Man Cometh

Today was the day I did my taxes. Today was the day I threw a hissy fit . . . again. Not as dramatically as last year, the year when "they" took all my money. I could be getting $100,000 and a unicorn back and I'd still have a major meltdown . . . because math is hard. Every year, you guys. Every year.

Stuff happened today on All My Children too. I don't really remember though, because I was having my own soap opera with my "Are they going to arrest me for stapling this?!! ANSWER ME!!" antics. Sorry, Mr. Paraphrasing PV. It only comes but once a year.

Tuesday

Today we learned how Lavery works out his abs.

Enjoy your Tuesday!

Who Wants to Be Pine Valley's Next Top Undercover Model?

Thursday 3/25:

Let me break it down for you:

Natalia and Amanda are both smokin' hot, CrazAnnie's a paranoid freak, Dr. David Baby Stealer is a master manipulator (actually just a really good overhearer) and everyone's hair is flat.

Thursday!! Hoo-ah!

Wednesday Recap Haikus

Wednesday 3/24:
Box full of Hayward
Is worth two in a mansion
Give me a box'o that!!

Grandad can't do "it"
Cuz he's got an old dude's heart
It's better this way

Sky blue, Liza drunk
Has she ever won a case?
Maybe stick to booze?

How do you like that crazy marrow, JR?

Friday 3/19:
Tad is way bummed about this whole Baby Daddy to Juno's Baby Daddy thing, and he feels all guilty the kid is a brat and a prescription drug stealer. Liza and NeoColby had some sorta talk at ConFusion about something, but I only concentrated on Colby's roots, because when I actually listen to her it has the same effect on me as fingernails on a chalk board. Regardless, none the less Liza's all worked up and goes over Tad's and Tad's like, "let's break up." Oh Tad Tad Tad.

At hospital, Grandad almost lets the "You've got Annie's marrow in you" cat out of the bag to JR 'cuz he starts talkin' 'bout how she totally did a really nice thing for JR. Meanwhile, CrazAnnie is totally paranoid about Brooke and Grandad gettin' together, which is hella ironic, given the fact that she pretty much comes onto Scott every time he walks in the room. Dr. David Baby Stealer totes overhears one such come on, which, I suppose, was more like a "'member how we made out that one time? And how we really like each other" convo between the two of 'em, but still you guys, keep it in your pants. When Grandad gets home, Dr. Dave tells him how those two fools are all up in each other's business and he volunteers to keep an eye on CrazAnnie, out of the kindness of his heart. That's my Dr. David Baby Stealer. He's a giver.

JR's been thinkin' about what Grandad said and he makes CrazAnnie visit him in hospital. She gets riled up because those two hate each other, in case you forgot, and is all, "I gave you my bone marrow!" and I'm all, "Forget about the bone marrow! Can someone please please fix her old lady bangs? THAT would be a real favor!"

Now that Junior's got that crazy marrow, I wonder if we'll get a little Dr. Drake Ramoray/Jessica Lockhart action . . .

Tad the Cad's a Dad . . . again

Man oh man, I've been gone for a while! See, there was life stuff, then work stuff, then more life stuff, then work-like stuff, then Daylight Savings happened and I ended up accidentally taping One Life to Live for two days.

Thursday 3/18:
Remember how Tad was a big slut whore back in the day? Well, turns out he was a slut whore approximately 19 years ago, and Juno's Baby Daddy's his son. (I totally called it.) So Tad's all worked up about missing most of his kid's life, and he keeps trying to get in touch with his kid's moms, but moms totes went to Europe, probably because she didn't really feel like discussing the whole "That kid's your kid, but he thinks his step dad's really his dad instead of his step dad" thing. Understandable. Tad blames Liza for spooking her, but I blame Tad for his incessant calling of kid's moms. On top of all that Tad likes Krystal again, or at least he seems like he does, and that makes Liza all mopey. Also, Juno's Baby's Daddy's a d**k. I'm guessing because his mother's a liar and a tramp.

Greensleeves is doin' a ad campaign for her new makeup that makes you look like you're not wearing makeup (Which, to me, completely negates the purpose of makeup. I'm a gal who wears blue eyeshadow and bright red lipstick together, though, so what do I know?) For the location, Madison suggests the casino, which Laves totally bought yesterday. Greensleeves doesn't know that Madison knows that Laves owns the casino . . . and Zach doesn't know Laves owns the casino either . . . uh, whatever the whole casino makeup campaign is a convoluted attempt for Laves to make Greensleeves get wit' him.

Dr. David Baby Stealer Greenlee Healer is hidin' out in Grandad's mansion. He needs a place to hide, and Grandad's heart is on the fritz again so it's a match made in heaven. This kinda makes Grandad all weird and secretive, and naturally CrazAnnie starts to lose it and thinks that somehow it's all a big Brooke thingy. She shuffles her slippered feet down the halls of Grandad's tunnels (not a euphemism, I promise) and . . . EEK! Who's there?!! Guess we'll find out tomorrow! (It's definitely David.)

PS- Is Greenlee's wardrobe now being sponsored by exposed zippers? I mean, exposed zippers are hot right now, but it's a little excessive. Give her buttons or snaps or velcro or something!

Tardy due to rocking out

Sorry. I've been busy rocking out this week . . . and some wedding planning . . . but mostly rocking out, hence the lack of recaps.

Question- who do YOU think is Juno's Baby Daddy's daddy?

Mmm hotcakes

Juno's Baby Daddy's brave for eatin' pancakes in Pine Valley, huh?

Would you like some crazy beyotch with that bone marrow, JR?

Monday 3/1:
Greensleeves is at Ye Olde Castle of Romance, where Funny Doc has Nurse Gayle all holed up too, trying to make her rat on Dave. Greensleeves is there because, she kind of loves Laves still? I don't know why when you've got a big hunk of evil doctor at home, but whatever. Funny Doc works his Funny ways and Greensleeves doesn't suspect that whole Gayle thing, but after she leaves Erica and Laves and the gang come over and yadda yadda yadda there gonna take Hayward down. We've heard this one before, kids.

So Greensleeves goes back home, and confesses to Hayward about going to castle, and Hayward confesses about how he was kinda sorta helping Erica take over Fusion. Greensleeves is displeasesleeved.

Juno's Baby Daddy gets fired (AGAIN!) because he once tried to break into the place in which he worked. Companies don't dig thievery. Good to know . . .

Turns out CrazAnnie is a partial match for Junior and his bone marrow, which is not as great as a full match but a lot better than just lettin' the dude hang out in a coma. CrazAnnie didn't know that there was like, surgery involved with the bone marrow stuff, and man, that's a big deal. So she goes into Junior's room and she's all, "To be or not to be . . . JR's bone marrow donor . . ." And Junior's like, "Get out bitch!" Not kidding, that dude talked! Somebody's totally pulling the old Emma Lavery Fake Sleeping coma, aren't they?