Today: Nothing Happened

Hump Day? More like chump day!

Wednesday 8/19:

Today on All My Children, nothing happened. And by nothing, I mean, “nothing.”

Police Chief tells Mittens (who only has one messed up hand now, so I guess he's Mitten?) and Dr. Mrs. Police Chief about that whole Randi killed the D.A. thing that they covered it up.

Tad tells Fake Preggers it’s not really her baby and that he totally knows Dr. David Baby Stealer has tooken Barbados Baby. Tad wants Fake Preggers to bang Dr. David Baby Stealer so he’ll tell her where Barbados Baby is. Tad is the worst detective ever.

Randi thinks babies are like puppies and you can just keep them if you want.

Dr. Mrs. Police Chief thinks Police Chief shouldn’t be all lyin’ to her and junk, but it’s okay to set a dead body on fire because you (mistakenly) think your ex-hooker daugher in law killed the guy.

Oh and at one point, Petey was wearing two collared shirts at once and a baby threw up on him. Convenient, since he had one shirt under the other one.

You guys could’ve saved those 50 minutes and just told Dr. Mrs. Police Chief and Randi and Fake Preggers to just read a little thing on the internet called “Paraphrasing Pine Valley.” All you need to know is there!