Summer in Pine Valley

Thursday 7/8:
Dude, you guys. It is so. hot. in NYC right now. It's hot in Pine Valley too. Wrote a song about it. Wanna hear it? Here it go.

(Sung to the tune of The Lovin' Spoonful's "Summer in the City")

Hot town, summer in Pine Valley
Lavery’s looking’ tan and Randi’s lookin’ lovely
So nice she’s gonna be a model
Over in Europe, hope she doesn’t hit the bottle

Amanda I know you love Jake
but modeling in Europe is a chance that you should take!

But in Pine Valley it’s a different world. Go out and find a girl.
Picnic or run and jog in the park, we’ll go to ConFusion when it gets real dark
Cuz babe, don’t you know it’s a pity the days, can’t be like the nights
In the Summer, in Pine Valley, In the Summer, in Pine Valley.


Hot town, summer in Pine Valley
Angie’s goin’ blind and she still won’t tell her hubby
Things suck cuz he got sent home
Mayor doesn’t like him cuz he’s always on the phone

Angie you gotta tell him soon
you can’t solve the blindness, pushin’ the couch around the room!

But in Pine Valley it’s a different world. Go out and find a girl.
Picnic or run and jog in the park, and we’ll go to ConFusion when it gets real dark
Cuz babe, don’t you know it’s a pity the days, can’t be like the nights
In the Summer, in Pine Valley, In the Summer, in Pine Valley.


Hot town, Hayward in Pine Valley
Greenlee’s getting’ mad cuz he’s seemin’ kinda sketchy
Turns out he only gave confession
So he would look a hero make a really good impression

Haywardddd, I will love you always
though you’re such a liar and you like to steal the babies!

But in Pine Valley it’s a different world. Go out and find a girl.
Picnic or run and jog in the park, and we’ll go to ConFusion when it gets real dark
Cuz babe, don’t you know it’s a pity the days, can’t be like the nights
In the Summer, in Pine Valley, In the Summer, in Pine Valley.

On a very special episode of AMC...

Colby learns the world does not revolve around her.

Friday 7/2:
Wow, a whole bunch of doin' nothin' on today's episode, huh? Less talkin', let's see some action, Pine Valley.

Juno's Baby Daddy's Fake Daddy is still a douche, so Tad punches him. Dr. Mrs. Police Chief of Staff is still goin' blind, so Funny Doc is gonna help her out. Natalia's not doing a very good job investigating Erica's plane crash in West Virginia (Yeah, whatever they SAY it's because the Feds aren't really cooperating but I think it's because she's kind of a bad cop who shoots people for no reason) so Police Chief has to go down there and fix this situation and put that tall, dark, sexy, hunky, evil Dr. David Hayward behind bars for good. Oh and NeoColby is shocked to find out that not everyone can drop everything so they can follow her to ol' Manhatty for a fake internship.

And I took a nap.

Happy almost Independence Day, ya'll!

A picture's worth a thousand naked Lizas

Reason #1 July is awesome- it's the Aiden Turner month on my "Men of Pine Valley" calendar. Oh Aiden, I've missed your chisled jaw.

Thursday 7/1:
Funny Doc and Amanda arrive back from their glamorous tropical honeymoon in the New York City, and they've brought bagels and coffee! Was it just me, or were they eating those bagels in a really weird way? I am led to believe they have never eaten bagels before. I bet it's a South Beach Diet kinda thing. Anyhoo, Amanda's a Snoopy McSnooperson and she goes through Juno's Baby Daddy's phone while he's being polite and getting junk out of her car for her. She sees the half nakey photos of Liza and gets all upset and stuff because I guess blackmail's unethical. Please, Amanda, like you've never taken covert photos of your birth father's girlfriend because she tried to seduce you and prevent you from dating her daughter.

Speaking of Liza's daughter, NeoColby got that fake internship from the fake fashion designer in NYC. This means she and Juno's Baby Daddy can move to the big city together and do adult things!! How fun! Not so fast, girlfriend. Juno's Baby Daddy can't even say "I love you, too" to you, why in the world would he want to move in with you? Plus he's got free health care and bagels in Pine Valley. And you're sometimes overbearing and kind of a drag. This is not a judgment, just an observation. NeoColby freaks out and assumes that Juno's Baby Daddy is cheating on her and she wants Tad (HIS FATHER!) to use his detective skills and investigate. Paranoid, party of one. Your table's ready.

Dr. David Baby Stealer and Greensleeves had a great night of gettin' busy, and everything's blissful and lovey and they take a walk in the park (the REAL park, like outside and stuff. Not that fake park everyone's usually hangin' out in.) Naturally, the workout twins, Madison and Lavery, ruin the whole scene with their sports accessories and leg cramps. Dr. David Baby Stealer is cold as ice, but Greensleeves is a little thrown off, understandably so, as Lavery's tank top was a little alarming. After the four part ways, Lavery invites Madison to New York City with him next week for some junk or somethin' and Madison's all, "Of COURSE I'll be in a New York City montage with you!"

$10 says there's a good long twirling scene next week with those two fools.