Hot Pine Valley Nights

Shoo-eee!! It’s getting’ steamy in Pine Valley! People are kissin’, dudes are almost showing their private areas! It’s August, ya’ll!

Wednesday 8/12:
So I forgot to mention yesterday that Dr. Baby Stealer went to Fake Preggers’ to make out with her. And she was like, “Yeah you just want my baby. Buh bye.” Not that important.

Anyhow, Scott’s all wet and almost nakey and he French kisses CrazAnnie, and dammit she totes forgot about that weird video camera in the parlor or the living room or wherever it is she hangs out these days. So she’s watches and there by erases or stealers the footage (like Grandad even remembers that camera!) and Junior comes over and he’s like, “I kissed Annie,” and Scott’s like, “But I kissed Annie!” and this means they made out with each other and that’s hot. Scott’s all bummed ‘cuz Not Babe does Not Love him, and instead she loves Junior, but see Junior has been bribed by David to Not Love Not Babe and now everything’s mad confusing. So Scott talks his fancy love words and Junior decides to visit Not Babe and be her bf. However, Not Babe is pissed that Junior’s super hot and cold and I’m pretty sure she throws a bed pan at him. Ewwwwww.

Kendall’s stuck in that stupid Ikea basement, and Zach’s like “You’ve got towels and Emilio Estevez’s entire body of work on DVD! You’ve got everything you need! You never need to leave!” and she’s like, “But where do I sleep?” and he’s like, “You’re not that bright are you?” So Zach goes to tend to a casino emergency and Jesse breaks in the house to “Check on The Boys” (So why was he wearing gloves? EH?!!) and Kendall hears him and leaves her Ikea basement, totally ignoring the rules. Then later there’s a montage of Zach’s facial hair and I really think Fake Preggers should lay off the tanner. No one should be orange.