Gosh, just steal that baby already!!

Happy Bastille Day, y'all!!

Tuesday 7/14:
Goodness gracious, finally looks like people are coming to their senses in Pine Valley!

Police Chief has a big old press conference, where he lies through his teeth, while Baby Stealer goes to a private lab to get that Barbados Baby vomit DNA tested. Turns out Tad has figured all this out . . . cuz he's a detective. Oh, right, did ANY of us remember that guy had a job before he was shot in the head and his occupation became community comedian?

Fake Preggers (aka Liza ass off! OH! Get it? Lies her . . . nevermind) visits Kendall to, I dunno, help her with the whole "Kendall Being on Trial" thingy and makes her cry and Zach gets mad. Golly!! Zach is such a grumpy Gus these days!

PARTY AT THE POLICE STATION! Police Chief and Madison and Zach (I think he was there, he's in pretty much every scene these days) all talk about her rapist husband and how she's got security tapes but she destroyed them and some whore actually killed him (but not really) and can she please have her life insurance settlement now?

PARTY IN FAKE PREGGERS ROOM!! Colby can't get that stupid baby to shut the heck up (Whatever you do, do not shake Barbados Baby, Colby. If I've learned one thing from NYC subway ads, it's to never shake a baby. Also, Dr. Zizmor can clear your skin up.) Not Babe shows up to work her creepy "magic" on the baby (the Baby Stealer's apple doesn't fall far from the Baby Stealer's tree, know what I mean?), and then Amanda shows up and wants to hold the thing and dammit, Colby, you're an idiot. If Fake Preggers thinks Baby Stealer is going to come steal the baby, and told you not to let him into the house, don't you think the same thing might apply to the mother of his child? Yeesh.

Baby Stealer's all sorts of pissed off 'bout the DNA tests being late at the hospital, bumps into Brot and acts like a jerk. So Brot quits. I would too, man, that guy's mean. Oh and yes, we care again about Blondie and Brot, 'cept she's having "meetings" with Thaddeus, which makes me actually care less about her.

Mrs. Dr. Police Chief is super suspicious of the way Police Chief is actin', Amanda suspects Fake Pregger's baby might be her own stupid baby, Kendall loves Zach so they make out and the DNA results are in! YAY!