MARRY ME! Or I'll kill you. Because I'm insane.

Tad made a joke about the Orioles! Wha?

Monday 7/27:
So Emma's "traumatized" by all those crazy adults bugging her and junk. So she shuts down and won't talk to no one. Lavery's totes not helping the situation, what with him being Lavery and all. Funny Doc can't even make her talk! Gosh!

Barbados Baby won't stop his incessant crying (again, that kid is always with the crying!) so Tad asks Blondie to rub her bosoms on him. Apparently Barbados Baby is already a boob man? Also, this is really creepy Tad. Real Preggers misses her baby so she decides to break into Blondie's house. Again, proving that no one in Pine Valley ever uses a door. Ever.

Speaking of babies, turns out God kills them when you cover up a murder. So He kills Randi's baby. Mitten's whines about his hands and Police Chief is broken up about the situation and Mrs. Dr. Police Chief's hair STILL looks like crap. Please, she's a nice lady, she's a pretty lady, can someone fix it?

Grandad's been videotaping Annie this whole time (because he "likes gadgets" mmm hmmm) and he's a little concerned with how, ahem, interested Annie is with marrying him. So she proposes to him, and he says no. And she's like, "Well, see this one time someone tried to not marry me, and I held him at gun point, and then I stabbed someone and then when some other people were getting married, I broke out of the nuthouse and held some more people at gun point, and . . . well, you should probably do what's best for everyone and just marry me. It'll be a lot easier that way."

Back at the hospital, they send in Marie Osmond, Child Psychiatrist, who says that Emma is "fragile" and "shouldn't be pushed too hard," but The New D.A. is just as mean as the Dead D.A. and he demands that she draw a picture for him about the night of Stuart's murder. So Emma writes "Mommy" on the chalk board behind her hospital bed (what a cool feature in a hospital room!) and he's like, "I said draw a picture, you follow directions as well as your father. Gosh, I guess it works."

Kendall REALLY wants to go to jail for Stuart's murder and Zach tells her she's crazy loco and to think about the boys so he grabs a gun a goes to Grandad's crib to shoot someone or something. Because no one can actually do anything the legal way in this town, and they all let their fists do the . . . fisting.