Death by knick knack

Someone gets killed! And it's not Adam . . . again.

Monday 7/6
Hey, guess what? Erica Kane was NOT choked to death by CrazAnnie. BUT Grandad almost had her arrested. Well, almost doesn't count, Grandad.

Down at ye olde casino, Zach encourages Mrs. D.A. to "speak her mind . . . " and boy does she! More on that later.

Now to the important stuff: so Mrs. Mittens visits Patrick Batemen, D.A. in his fancy schmancy District of Columbia hotel room. He's totes bummed because she won't do it (I mean, "it" it!) with him. He gets all forceful and junk (didn't see that one coming), so she bonks him on the head with an American eagle sculpture (because it's D.C.) and he's out cold. She leaves to call Mittens (who is totally capable of answering a cell phone these days, might I add, so I don't want to hear another complaint from him about his surgeon hands), and then Mrs. D.A. shows up, quotes my new catch phrase*, and bonks the D.A. even harder on the head!! There's blood and junk!! I think I'm going to miss his snappy fashion sense the most.

In a terribly unfortunate turn of events, Mrs. Mittens comes back to Hank's room to get keys or her wallet or her velvet scrunchie, and what do you know, Police Chief shows up, intending to tell the D.A. he's quittin'. So now he's there and it looks like his daughter-in-law killed somebody! Police Chief can't catch a damn break!

Mrs. D.A. aparently owns a jet pack or something, probably government issued, because she was able to go to D.C. from Pine Valley, kill her husband, then show up back at the casino to gamble away more money? You lost me, there, AMC, but whatever.

Kendall visits Ryan, and "needs" him, but doesn't want Zach to know this. Turns out Erica Kane "needs" him too, on account of that crazy beyotch livin' with Grandad. Kendall jumps off the balcony or something (I bet she borrowed Mrs. D.A.'s jet pack) and shows up at Grandad's house! That woman can do a lot in heels.

This week, Grandad remembers who shot Stuart and finally, FINALLY, Amanda figures out Barbardos Baby (who's got his drivers license by now) is HER baby!

*"You make it very hard for me to love you, Madison." Except, she says Henry or Hank or Rapist District Attorney. See, it's catching on!!