Everyone's kind of a tramp in Pine Valley

Anddddd we're back.

Tuesday 9/8:
Erica is moping because no one watched her special about poverty in Africa. Lavery tells her to suck it up, because she's Erica Kane dammit. And nobody doesn't watch Erica Kane's tv show about starving children!! Nobody!

CrazAnnie is kind of a slut whore, and is inappropriately gallivanting with Scott while they're both wet and in bathing suits. Not only is it inappropriate, it's dangerous. I'm sure the floors in Casa de Grandad are of the finest marble, and probably super slippery. Use your heads, kids.

Grandad peeps some of this horseplay, and he's understandably annoyed. Not just about the wet running, but also because it kinda seems like maybe his wife-to-be is hardcore flirting with his nephew. Bummer, Grandad.

Turns out Mittens is also kind of a slut whore, too. And I'm pretty sure he did "it", or partially did "it" with the Dead D.A.'s wife because he was drowning his sorrows in booze and blackjack and Dead D.A.'s wives. Madison wants him to steal drugs and give her money, but Mittens is sad because his own wife likes to insinuate that he's not a man and you know what, Mittens? Madison seems like a LOT more fun with her drinking and her gambling than that whining baby stealer (note the lowercase) you have back at home, so just go for it!

At the TV station, Erica is still really bummed about how nobody watched her special, and her good for nothing producer tells her to instead do makeovers on Opal and Krystal. You know why he's good for nothing? If this he were a decent producer he'd already have regular old ugly people there to get for reals makeovers, not 2 gorgeous ladies who already wear designer clothing. This New Beginnings show is probably cutting into his "cocaine snorting" time and he can't be bother with producerly duties. Oh and the makeovers are not that great and I'm pretty sure Krystal was wearing a banana clip.

Anyhoo, instead of talking about how bad her makeover is, Krystal decides to talk about how awesome Erica's special about those poor kids was. This makes Erica turn all "Elvis Costello on the December 12, 1977 episode of SNL" (peep it here) and tells us all to save the children and to screw those lame makeovers. We also learn that Lavery is New Beginnings biggest advertiser. Wha?

Kendall and Zach think they can convince that ho-bag CrazAnnie to admit she killed Stuart, and they're gonna use Emma to do it. Great. Love using kids as pawns. It's awesome. Zach goes to Lavery's house to visit The Other One, and Emma's there. SCORE! Zach pulls the old "why sure I'll take this picture you drew to your mommy and that way I can go force her confess to killing Stuart" trick. Kids are so gullible.

So yeah, Zach takes that picture and makes CrazAnnie think he's on her side or something and we're all supposed to think that she shot Stuart and she's still a skanky tramp tramp floozy.