Like a hole in the head . . .

Lavery wishes you a sexy Columbus Day!

Monday 10/12:
Zach and Kendall . . . Zandall . . . Kach . . .Zechdall . . . whatever, Zach and Kendall, lurve each other bunches, so they renew and repromise their marriage vows in their living room for the 47th time. By far the most romantic of their vow renewal renewal. Well, a little less romantic than a boat, but much more romantic than a hospital, so I guess it's the most medium romantic vow renewal they've had.

Meanwhile, Emma was busy fallin' down a bunch of stairs and bustin' her head. Totally not how Lavery's big "Let's Get Annie to Confess" party was supposed to end. They cart Emma off to Pine Valley hospital so Funny Doc can drill holes in her skull and make her better. Lavery blames everyone and everything . . . actually, mostly just Zach, for his kid bein' in the hospital. Naturally.

Police Chief arrests Secret Aidan Man, because . . . um . . . I'm not sure. I think it's to cover something up or something? To confuse Grandad? I can't follow all of the "Arrest this person" "Arrest that person but not for real" stuff in Pine Valley these days. Anyhow, Secret Aidan Man is arrested and his contract is up so you know what that means- electric chair.

Okay, down at hospital they drilled into Emma's head and she's okay but not awake and that's a bummer. (Mr. Paraphrasing Pine Valley thinks they need to try a heart transplant- that works for everybody else.) CrazAnnie decided to spill the beans about Stuart's murderer to Scott, but All My Children decided to NOT TELL US WHAT SHE SAID! COME ON!! Totes not fair. I'll bet you all a zillion dollars that she told him that Grandad is the killer, which is what I've been saying all along. (By saying "Emma's the killer" all those times I meant, "Grandad's the killer." It was opposite day whenever I said that . . . )

Kendsansch ("Kendall sans Zach") is chillaxin' at the house when the phone rings and Lady Prion Officer leaves a message saying that "Zach's wife" has been "stabbed" and because of "her heart condition" she's "being taken to Pine Valley hospital." Zoinks. This might throw a wrench in the Fake Kendall in Prison/Real Kendall in Fake Prison sitchamication.