Bernie may be dead, but he's still the life of the party!

Hi, my name's Ryan Lavery. Welcome to the gun show.

Wednesday 10/28:
Natalia didn't shoot Secret Aidan Man. She and Brot weren't anywhere even NEAR that country church. It was just a bunch of punk kids doin' punk things. But Secret Aidan Man scared them away with creepy haunted noises. Oh Secret Aidan Man.

Over the past few months Junior's gone from drunk to nice guy and now he's at "whiney Mr. Meanie." He's gets all pissy with Not Babe because she brought him yogurt and he saw her crying yesterday and he might not be able to give her a baby if she ever wanted one. A: We steal babies here in Pine Valley, so don't even worry about that and B: Try not yelling at someone if you don't want them to cry. Not Babe is very nice and she loves you a lot, Junior. In the words of Police Chief, "Deal with it!"

In order to have an opportunity to fill her daughter's head with more lies, CrazAnnie shows up at Laves' crib with a lame-o Lady bug costume for Emma, but see Emma's already dressed like Princess Jasmine™ and that's her favoritest. They settle on some costume change agreement, but I think CrazAnnie might be losing her grip on little Ems.

Remember how CrazAnnie told Ems she wasn't gonna marry Grandad? Well, Erica Kane wants to go gloat and stuff, so she goes over to Grandbag's hizzy, and she's all, "Totes bummer about your wedding being cancelled, huh?" Grandbag (who's officially a crazy old coot now) is like, "Whatchutalkinbout, Erica?" And she's like, "The wedding, you're not doin' that whole thing." And he's like, "Well, nobody told me." And then Grandbag decides to "make things better" by going to the Halloweens party that Emma's at and scaring the crap out of her. Crazy old coot.

Natalia and Brot never got to the country church because ended up in that sexy cabin in the woods. The one where a few months ago where Erica Kane had a bath and Laves was like half nakey and they put her Blackberry in some rice and stuff? 'Member that? Anyhow, they're there, and Police Chief is T.O.'d that Natalia won't chill the f out, so he asks Brot (via phone) to steal the spark plugs out of the car. Looks like they'll be there a while. If you guys get bored there's a bathtub.

Zach knows that Kendall and Secret Aidan Man are safe, on account of the poetry chat room, so he and Laves' and Erica Kane try to figure out some way to get Grandbag to remember what happened the night his bro was shot. They think if they somehow conjur up Stuart's image when Grandbag's around they'll jog his memory . . . I saw a movie like this once. I believe it was called . . . "Weekend At Bernies?"

And it was awesome.