Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Love On the Rocks With No Ice




Tuesday 12/1:

Juno wants to take baby Stuart away to think about whether or not she wants to keep him and Liza A$$ Off's like, "Actually, I'ma leave instead, you stay here cuz Lord knows where you're gonna take that child." So now Juno is living in your sweet pad with Stuart, and you have to schlep your stuff somewhere else? Naw, Liza, haven't you seen "Risky Business?" (Actually, neither have I, but I'm pretty sure "teens wreaking havoc" is a big part of that movie.)

Tad and Krystal and Opal (Hooray!! Love her!) and Junior and Not Babe and the gang get a Christmas tree, decorate it in record speed, and Junior coughs. More specifically, he coughs up blood. This is not good in soap opera land.

Babados Baby comes down with a baby fever, and it's really scary, so Dr. David Baby Stealer and Real Preggers take him to the hospital. Real Pregs calls Funny Doc and he comes over and he gets into a sexy fight with Dr. Dave but then he's like totally over this situation and he's all, "Real Pregs, you're exhausting me and I'm so over it" and splits. There there, Dr. Jake, let Melody take care of you. Oh and Barbados Baby's fine- just an ear infection.

Grandad and Scott are in jail . . . together . . . same cell. Scott wants to go back to Chi-town and Grandad's like, "No don't go" and Scott's like, "Okay, I'll stay." Grandad is a very persuasive dude.

Zach is still soooo pissed about Kendall givin' back her wedding ring and making out with Secret Aidan Man (but not really) and he catches Hottie Inn Keeper spying on him and he's had enough of Kendall's trampin' around. He drinks a bunch of booze, calls over Liza A$$ Off and he's like, "I'm not as think as you drunk I am, give me a divorce!" Then lays a big ol' kiss on her. Awesome.

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