New Hands for Mittens?

I should preface all of this by saying that President Obama's press conference about important ish interrupted a good 3/4 of yesterday's episode, so I'm a smidge lost. I won't hold it against him though, because I absolutely love President Obama. I will however hold it against ABC for airing 10 minutes of commercials before airing the last 10 minutes of the show . . . but I digress.

Wednesday 6/24:
A lot of awkward and slightly icky making out/near making out in this episode! Here's the details:

So, Mittens the Soldier Surgeon just had some magical surgery that will for sure allow him the use of his surgeon hands. Damn. I'm going to miss the comedy of seeing him try to pick up cups. Meanwhile, Mrs. Pervy D.A. has a gambling problem! But she's so . . . blonde?! Zach's all, "Your husband totes wants to do my wife. Or at least throw her in jail just because she's Erica Kane's daughter." And down the street Mr. Pervy "Ripped From the Headlines" D.A. is all, "Dude, your husband totes wants to do my wife! Oh and you're trying to bribe me." Kendall is shocked, SHOCKED to figure out that Pervy D.A. has figured out that she and Zach figured they could bribe him. Sharp as a tack, that one.

Grandad The Twin They Didn't Kill is buying a slutty dress (in like, Banana Republic or something) for his new GF Crazy Annie. Erica's all, "Hey I'm going to bring my BF to the special dinner you're throwing for the crazy chick who tried to kill me! And guess what, my new BF is Ryan Lavery! Put that in your pipe and smoke it!" Huzzah!

Later, at the smallest dinner party ever, Lavery asks for a beer and Grandad is all, "Well, I wish I'd known, I would've rolled in a keg." ZING!! Then Grandad gets drunk and Crazy breaks a glass and yells and gets angry and looks Crazy. Sky blue, Pope Catholic.

And Lord, Mittens just won't cheer the F up. "Blah blah blah, I'm a surgeon, can't move my finger, I'm sad." Just get drunk already. And try to pick something up, because that is hilarious! I can't wait for the mechanical hands he'll be getting. And if there aren't mechanical hands involved in this story line, there's going to be hell to pay!

Pervy the D.A. wants Zach in jail. For something. Something important. Something illegal. Not sure what, but whatever it is, he's a menace to society and should be locked up, Police Chief!! Police Chief is all, "A husband and wife cannot be charged with same crime . . . "

Grandad and Crazy suck face, Erica makes googly eyes at Lavery and Mittens starts to move his Surgeon fingers just in time for his Ex-Ho wife to be all snuggled up on by Pervy D.A.!!!

End of show. Where's the action, kids?

And where the heck is that baby? Who's taking care of that thing? In my mind, he's surfing the clear, blue waves of some deserted beach in Barbados. Wearing some baby jam shorts and making that "hang loose" hand signal. I really hope that's what he's doing . . . at least until Hayward steals him.