Hey there! So I'm back, but I'm still brain dead kinda. Please bear with me.
We finally joined the year 2000 and hooked up this thing called a "DVR." It's like a videotape machine and it records the All My Children, but there's no video cassette tapes. I think it runs on magical unicorn tears or something, I dunno. Turns out, I can't work this "DVR" thing any better than the VCR. Turns out the "DVR" cut off the ends of both episodes I watched. Maybe it ran out of unicorn tears . . .
Double recap, ya'll! But with missing endings. So I guess it adds up to like 1.5 recaps? Sorry you guys, Mercury in retrograde.
Monday 10/5:
I'm gone for a week and everyone's got highlights!!
Ol' Madison's in the hospital. She tried to off herself with some pills. Randi totes just thinks Madison needs love. (Randi's a sucker.) Madison's daddy thinks she needs a swift kick in the pants. Mr. and Dr. Mrs. Police Chief think Madison needs to go Oak Haven. I'm not sure who wins this argument because well, "DVR" cut off.
Apparently Fake Pregger's baby's for reals Baby Momma's been lookin' for him (Gosh that's a lot of apostrophes) and she shows up while Fake Pregger's is with Funny Doc at the Boat Club. D'oh! Funny Doc takes Baby Stewart and Fake Preggers feeds Juno some line about how that baby she gave away is totally loved and Fake Preggers knows the family totes well and he'll be fine. This appeases Juno a bit, but she still kinda wants to meet that baby. She's just so confused. It's like, she gave birth to him and she, like, feels like she wants to meet him but, like, people keep telling her that's a bad idea. Fake Preggers says she'll see what she can do. Pssst, Juno- that red headed lady is your kid's adoptive mom. She's right there.
Krystal's got a bright idea to seduce Dr. David Baby Stealer to save Amanda, but Dr. David Baby Stealer's busy seducing Amanda. Circle of Life, ya'll. Tad thinks this is a really stupid idea. Also, we're supposed to believe that out of the 300 kids Dr. David Baby Stealer has fathered/stolen, he just changed his first diaper.
Then "DVR" cut off. Sigh. Moving on . . .
Tuesday 10/6:
Guess Mr. and Dr. Mrs. Police Chief won the "what the heck to do with Madison" battle, and they're sending her to Oak Haven. Taking an ambulance would be way too slow, so Mittens drives her. And then Mittens wrecks the car right as Madison's gonna give him the key to her safe deposit box of secrets. Mittens has the worst timing!
Fake Preggers figures she kinda should tell Colby about how her other kid really isn't her "kid" but instead an "adopted kid", but when she does Colby freaks out like people have been lying to her her whole life. Wait, wait, um, yeah, they have. Commence freaking out, Colby.
Funny Doc comes over to Dr. David Baby Stealer's crib (nudge nudge) and does it with Amanda. Which makes that whole them not talking to each other thing okay because he's Ricky Paull Goldin. Woulda worked for me, knowwhatImean?
Madison's back in the hospital and this time it's Mittens' fault and he kinda feels bad about how he almost killed her and he thinks she's turned a new leaf and might be nice now. I think Madison's smarter than all of you. Randi needs a Jump to Conclusions Mat, because she gets mad that Mittens' defending her and stuff (I thought you thought she just needed love, Randi!), but then later Madison confesses and everything's okay and hey, wait a minute, where's that safe deposit box key?
Then the "DVR" cuts off.
Mercury, you guys. Mercury.
On an up note, I just got my first issue of Soap Opera Digest in the mail today! This means I'm a real deal card carrying member of the soap opera lovers club!! It feels good to be official.
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