An Ode to Dr. David Hayward

Happier days . . .

Dude, you guys. I know, I know, it's been long and I know I've been lazy. But now? NOW? I'm just . . . just so . . . dude, you guys.

Okay. I am so upset over the death of Dr. David Hayward that words can't even express my sorrow. So I wrote a poem.

An Ode to Dr. David Hayward

What shall I do?
Where shall I go?
Without my fave guy
On my fave show

You'd lie and you'd cheat
You'd steal and you'd drug
At the end of the day
All you wanted was love

With your chiseled features
And dashing good looks
There's no one handsomer
You're the tops in my book

I don't read the spoilers
So I might be real dumb
But I never thought
That you'd be the one

To die.

On my soap.

So until his inevitable return from the grave, this blog must go dark. Yeah yeah, I know, I've been slacking anyway but without David Hayward I don't have a reason to live. And I definitely don't have a reason to put pen to paper or fingers to keyboard. I shall mourn you, Hayward, my precious evil baby stealing doctor, until you rise again.

Or settle your contract negotiations.

Secret Thoughts

Wednesday 8/11:

Wonder what your favorite All My Children characters were REALLY thinking during today's episode?

Scott and Not Babe get it on.
And it's weird.

Junior.
He still can't figure out styling products.

Lavery's real good at fake medical conditions.

Last week: An Artist's Interpretation

Monday 8/9:

Need to catch up on what's been happening the past few weeks on AMC? Here are some Rainbow Doodle Drawings to get you up to speed:

Angie's between a rock and a hard place. Or, more accurately, a baby and some blindness.

David Hayward just wants to be loved.

Liza= still an awful person.

Summer in Pine Valley

Thursday 7/8:
Dude, you guys. It is so. hot. in NYC right now. It's hot in Pine Valley too. Wrote a song about it. Wanna hear it? Here it go.

(Sung to the tune of The Lovin' Spoonful's "Summer in the City")

Hot town, summer in Pine Valley
Lavery’s looking’ tan and Randi’s lookin’ lovely
So nice she’s gonna be a model
Over in Europe, hope she doesn’t hit the bottle

Amanda I know you love Jake
but modeling in Europe is a chance that you should take!

But in Pine Valley it’s a different world. Go out and find a girl.
Picnic or run and jog in the park, we’ll go to ConFusion when it gets real dark
Cuz babe, don’t you know it’s a pity the days, can’t be like the nights
In the Summer, in Pine Valley, In the Summer, in Pine Valley.


Hot town, summer in Pine Valley
Angie’s goin’ blind and she still won’t tell her hubby
Things suck cuz he got sent home
Mayor doesn’t like him cuz he’s always on the phone

Angie you gotta tell him soon
you can’t solve the blindness, pushin’ the couch around the room!

But in Pine Valley it’s a different world. Go out and find a girl.
Picnic or run and jog in the park, and we’ll go to ConFusion when it gets real dark
Cuz babe, don’t you know it’s a pity the days, can’t be like the nights
In the Summer, in Pine Valley, In the Summer, in Pine Valley.


Hot town, Hayward in Pine Valley
Greenlee’s getting’ mad cuz he’s seemin’ kinda sketchy
Turns out he only gave confession
So he would look a hero make a really good impression

Haywardddd, I will love you always
though you’re such a liar and you like to steal the babies!

But in Pine Valley it’s a different world. Go out and find a girl.
Picnic or run and jog in the park, and we’ll go to ConFusion when it gets real dark
Cuz babe, don’t you know it’s a pity the days, can’t be like the nights
In the Summer, in Pine Valley, In the Summer, in Pine Valley.

On a very special episode of AMC...

Colby learns the world does not revolve around her.

Friday 7/2:
Wow, a whole bunch of doin' nothin' on today's episode, huh? Less talkin', let's see some action, Pine Valley.

Juno's Baby Daddy's Fake Daddy is still a douche, so Tad punches him. Dr. Mrs. Police Chief of Staff is still goin' blind, so Funny Doc is gonna help her out. Natalia's not doing a very good job investigating Erica's plane crash in West Virginia (Yeah, whatever they SAY it's because the Feds aren't really cooperating but I think it's because she's kind of a bad cop who shoots people for no reason) so Police Chief has to go down there and fix this situation and put that tall, dark, sexy, hunky, evil Dr. David Hayward behind bars for good. Oh and NeoColby is shocked to find out that not everyone can drop everything so they can follow her to ol' Manhatty for a fake internship.

And I took a nap.

Happy almost Independence Day, ya'll!

A picture's worth a thousand naked Lizas

Reason #1 July is awesome- it's the Aiden Turner month on my "Men of Pine Valley" calendar. Oh Aiden, I've missed your chisled jaw.

Thursday 7/1:
Funny Doc and Amanda arrive back from their glamorous tropical honeymoon in the New York City, and they've brought bagels and coffee! Was it just me, or were they eating those bagels in a really weird way? I am led to believe they have never eaten bagels before. I bet it's a South Beach Diet kinda thing. Anyhoo, Amanda's a Snoopy McSnooperson and she goes through Juno's Baby Daddy's phone while he's being polite and getting junk out of her car for her. She sees the half nakey photos of Liza and gets all upset and stuff because I guess blackmail's unethical. Please, Amanda, like you've never taken covert photos of your birth father's girlfriend because she tried to seduce you and prevent you from dating her daughter.

Speaking of Liza's daughter, NeoColby got that fake internship from the fake fashion designer in NYC. This means she and Juno's Baby Daddy can move to the big city together and do adult things!! How fun! Not so fast, girlfriend. Juno's Baby Daddy can't even say "I love you, too" to you, why in the world would he want to move in with you? Plus he's got free health care and bagels in Pine Valley. And you're sometimes overbearing and kind of a drag. This is not a judgment, just an observation. NeoColby freaks out and assumes that Juno's Baby Daddy is cheating on her and she wants Tad (HIS FATHER!) to use his detective skills and investigate. Paranoid, party of one. Your table's ready.

Dr. David Baby Stealer and Greensleeves had a great night of gettin' busy, and everything's blissful and lovey and they take a walk in the park (the REAL park, like outside and stuff. Not that fake park everyone's usually hangin' out in.) Naturally, the workout twins, Madison and Lavery, ruin the whole scene with their sports accessories and leg cramps. Dr. David Baby Stealer is cold as ice, but Greensleeves is a little thrown off, understandably so, as Lavery's tank top was a little alarming. After the four part ways, Lavery invites Madison to New York City with him next week for some junk or somethin' and Madison's all, "Of COURSE I'll be in a New York City montage with you!"

$10 says there's a good long twirling scene next week with those two fools.

Palmer's Will: The hits just keep coming!

So I partially fell asleep during today's episode because I'm off from work and that makes me all naptastic. Let's see what I can remember.

Wednesday 6/30:
Did you know you can write your will so it forces people to do things like move to a new town and change their name? Me neither. Palmer did, though! That's exactly what he did to old Caleeeeeb. Poor Caleb has to move to Pine Valley for at least a year AND change his last name to Cortlandt from Cooney. (Cortlandt is better, Caleb.) AND apparently Dr. David Hayward was a renter- A RENTER!- and now Caleb gets to live at the WildWoodWind mansion because Palmer bought it for him. This doesn't seem that legal to me, but okay.

Not Babe thinks she needs to sex it up a bit for Junior, since he seems to like crazy slutwhores like Annie. She buys a shorter version of my homecoming dress from 1998 (A note to the ladies: you may think the only way you'll win your high school ex-boyfriend back is by forcing him to take you to homecoming and wearing a mesh cut out dress so tight you can hardly breathe, but trust me, mesh is never the answer and he's not worth the effort anyway. ) but then Lil' A.J. ruins the whole thing because he tells her he's "scared" because she's all done up. To quote Mr. Paraphrasing Pine Valley, "What kind of dumb@$$ kid gets scared because his mom's wearing makeup?"

Police Chief has now enlisted Tad to find George Someone or Other, who was somehow involved in Erica's plane crash or the whole SEC/Fusion/embezzlement thing or something. I don't know, I'm pretty sure I dozed off for that part. I think the point is that Police Chief's bummed his wife is bummed and he's gonna blame David Hayward for it. Actually, we should really be blaming that eye disease but what do I know? I did wake up to Greensleeves and Dr. David Hayward almost gettin' it on, which is always enjoyable to see.

I promise I don't mean that to sound as pervy as it does. Yes I do.