Where there's smoke, there's Lavery.

Today may have been the first episode in a long while where actual "things" have happened. Rockin'.

Thursday 2/4:
Sooooo, Greensleeves got mad at the tv, threw the remote and it totes accidentally shut the flue on the fireplace. Fireplace gets smokey, Laves is at WildWindWood because he's planning on harassing Dr. Dave some more and (zoinks!) he hears the fire alarm. Firemen come, break down door (Laves was too wimpy to kick it in himself this time) but Greensleeves hides before anybody sees her.

Natalia is an awful, awful police person and questions Juno's Baby Daddy 'bout all the break ins even though she really shouldn't be doing that. Brot, who's acutally a good police person, gets Juno to call in Liza, but Baby Daddy still admits that he was hanging out in NeoColby's room while the last couple a' break ins were goin' down. Juno's really not stoked on this, and she leaves. It was nice knowin' ye, Juno. (I'm pretty sure today was her last day in the fair town of Pine Valley. i.e. Girlfriend's contract wasn't renewed.)

JR still has the Cancer, and NuevoColby comes over to bitch and somehow stops thinking about her self just long enough to finally figure out he's not just a drunk.

Randi's a total Debbie Downer about the whole Fusion being destroyed thing, but Madison rallies the troops to save the children! The company, I mean. Erica's likes Madison's spunk, and Randi needs stop being a huge beyotch.

Everyone is kinda sorta onto Dr. David Hayward Baby Stealer Greenlee Healer, but also kinda not (Because he is awesome and no one will ever get anything over on him. Ever.) Greensleeves wanted to leave PV yesterday, but today's she's all, "Psyche! Instead we're gonna piss people off and I'mma get my company back!" How's that gonna happen? Well, I'll tell you. Greensleeves and Dr. David Hayward are going to get . . . wait for it . . . married. They are getting married, my friends. The only thing more awesome than a Greenlee/Hayward marriage, would be a Melody/Hayward marriage and I'm told this is impossible because he's a fictional character and I am a for real person. It's the year 2010, though, so we'll see. We'll just see.

There are some things you can't unsee, Greenlee.

I'm so back, you guys. But wait, I leave for a week and everyone's hair's flat? I'm guessing we're in L.A. now, huh? That happens when I leave New York too.

Monday 2/1:
Everybody's busy kissin' everybody else. Funny Doc and 'Manda, Liza and Tad, but most importantly (i.e. grossest of all) Laves and Erica. Erica thinks their making out is so very important, that she calls a press conference at ConFusion to tell the papa-paparazzi about it. There really isn't ANYTHING else going on in Pine Valley that's news worthy?

On Friday, Greensleeves almost walked in on one-a these Ericavery makeout seshes, but Dr. Dave saves her at the last second from permanently destroying her retinas. He's all, "Don't go in there" and she's all, "Lavery has a girlfriend now doesn't he?!" and David's all, "shoulder shrug." He takes her to WildWindWood, and Tad totally sees him on his way there and that makes the Martin Bros get their panties in a bunch because that dude is back in town. They follow him there and threaten him and junk and are basically just super mean to my boyfriend. I know he lied to everybody about a bunch of things, but you leave my Dr. David Baby Stealer alone, boys. You hear me? Maybe if you guys were nicer to him, he wouldn't have to drug and kidnap for attention.

Laves and Erica head back to his joint, where they totes eat the dinner that was, I'm assuming, originally meant for Laves and Greensleeves. Those two fools then do it on the couch and Greensleeves shows up at the condo, and grabs the secret hidden key (by the way, nice hiding spot, Lavery. The plant in the hallway? Pfft.) and no Greenlee . . .don't. Please knock first. No Greelee. OH MY GOSH GREENLEE DON'T OPEN THAT DOOR! NOOOOOOOOOOO. And the damage is done.

Believe me, I feel your pain, Greensleeves. None of us have enjoyed their little tryst these past few months. Feel free to commence the "making Erica's life a living hell." We've missed you so.

Hayley's Comments

I tried for 20 minutes to upload a picture of Kelly Ripa onto this blog post. I also tried 20 minutes trying to figure out a better pun on "Halley's Comet." Lame on both accounts. You know who isn't lame? Hayley. Hayley rules and I've missed her and that hot hunk of man she's married to.

Monday 1/4/10:
2010!! Holy crap 2010!! Holy crap, Hayley's back! She and Mateo and their tv crew (she's on a tv show in L.A., 'member?) fly their helicopter right on to Grandad's back yard, right in the middle of his second weddin' because they are super bad a$$. See, they're in Pine Valley because gonna film a show about how absolutely awesome it is. Needless to say, Hayley isn't thrilled that her father marrying a psychotic, stabby, brother killin', young chick for the second time. I don't think anyone is thrilled about this. In fact, I've never seen a more pissed off looking group of people at a wedding.

Meanwhile, in a place not nearly as awesome as Pine Valley, Dr. David Baby Stealer tells Greenlee about how she's been asleep for a year, everyone thinks she's dead, and dag, her legs don't work. She could have a surgery for her legs, but she may sorta die. (What was that about not freaking her out immediately upon waking, Dave?) So Greens is torn. Does she call Laves and drop this whole "I'm not really dead" bomb on him and then go and die from the surgery? That would seriously blow. Or does she just not tell him and then well . . . I guess that's it. Greenlee reminds herself about how he's always really dug her and she's all, "Ryan's always gonna love me. Totally."

Back in Pine Valley, Laves isn't thinkin' one bit about Greenlee. Instead he's feeling up Erica Kane and generally being all Lavery about it.

Madison's Creepy Dad is put on trial for being a big abusive jerk, and he's gonna plead not guilty but then Madison totally blackmails him so he pleads guilty instead. I hope that's your last act of blackmailin', Madison. Good girls don't blackmail.

Duuuude! Who's stoked for the 40th Anniversary Spectacular tomorrow?!!! I just wished they could resurrect Leo. I've always preferred a little Leo with my Greenlee